Eccentricities...

Me again. Have not posted another blog entry for awhile, that changes today.

I wanted to discuss something- conformity systems and how it correlates with purely biological, instinctive survival. Conformity is everywhere, and people try especially hard to avoid it. In doing so, they join preemptive cliques representing conformity in itself, just not mainstream ideals, but not individuality either.

Irony. Haha. We immediately seek comfort, belonging, and acceptance as soon as we're consciously aware of our existence. Why is this though? Strength in numbers? A covering of vulnerability and responsibility?

Then there's the alpha male bravado mentality which runs the pack, or cliques, I should say. Large numbers they grow into, and were dominant leaders in primitive times, and even today, have impact. Artists, movie starts, or song artists have this power the most, as do political figures.

Now for the next part. There is the lone wolf, or outcast. In groups, predatory senses always pick up the weakest link- the one that stands out, and can never gain acceptance within a group. Why? Beaten, murdered, picked on, harassed, or just rejected, it symbolizes a sub conscience awareness of wanting to be in control, dominant, and in a position of power. Some people may not conscientiously display these traits, but nothing changes in that aspect. Apparently all males are sub consciously attracted to their mothers.

Weird, huh? Now while conformity is usually the dominant and underlying factor for ignorance, stupidity, and arrogance, people do strive to make a name for themselves. It's cool how evolutionary biology has transfixed species to ensure survival, with systematically endorsed methods of selection to remove negative, malformed, or disfigured links, or the "weak ones." Now, medical methods have allowed these retards to live, overpopulation is a burden, and conformity systems are made less articulate and more low functioning.

Pop stars? Gangsters? Thug life? Arrogant prick bastard that overcompensates?

Yeah. Just a question to ponder.  I think our conscience ability correlates with an instinctive need to fit in, and will to survive.

Everyone needs family.

The Heart

What is the heart? For some of us, it's an organ. For others, it's the well of our feelings; our emotions.

The heart is considered an important part of practically every culture; it's significance in resembling symbolism is second to none.

Now let me give you a recollection of my day, as I wondered the streets homeless for 6 hours.

After getting kicked out of my foster home for refusing to back down in an argument, I began pondering to myself, caught up in my thoughts as everyone else smoked, drank, and partied on Canada Day.

Being sober [regrettably so]I walked for a few hours in the dark until I came across a cemetery.

Cemeteries are beautiful. The feeling of absolute peace, tranquility, and quiet eerily called my name as I escaped the hustle and bustle of my loud, obnoxious and polluted city.

After slipping through the fence, I peered around at the tombstones. This was a seemingly traditional and orthodox Christian burial grounds, with psalms and proverbs rested across these slabs of limestone and gravel.

Reading a lot of names, and dates of deaths, a sudden realization hit me.

A lot of the spouses, as in almost every single one, died within a year of each other. The children, if one died young, so did the other. It's startling how much you can find out about a particular family just by visiting their resting places; the pain they've endured. Maybe it's my schizophrenic state beginning to deteriorate, but I started to see them. No, not physically, but spiritually, as if they were talking to me.

What could this mean? Do husbands and wives die because of "broken hearts?" It's as if souls become one; bound together by love, a chemistry that's far more beautiful and complicated than any scientific or religious debate could ever muster. When that's broken, the other loses a part of them; and their will to live.

That's how I spent my national holiday, sitting in a cemetery contemplating how these people lived, died, and the unbreakable bond of real love.

I'm glad it happened. I wouldn't have wanted to do anything else.

Can hearts break? Of course they can. But what about these bonds that form as a result?

Why did all these couples die immediately after one another?

So many questions. No answers, only assumptions and gross generalizations.

What is it? The heart? What is it capable of?